well, how to explain this.
In the last weeks I was busy, worried and stressed
I got somke problems with my family, because my grandma was sick and I was really worried about loosing her
I had to do a lot of stuff for school and I still have to
and I felt lonely sometimes, just a stupid strange feeling which wasn't rightous at all because I was never alone.
I guess it was a feeling that is connected with the spring, you know? 8llD
it was the lacking of LOVE in a very (very very) special way *coughs*
...wait a second that sounded strange lol
I was never looking for some one but sometimes, I felt like I lack a very special person.

and a few minutes ago, I was listenig to some of my favourite songs (that are creepy, funny, swinging, cute, sad and energetic music pieces, I don't have a favourite style or something like that)
and I was realizing how foolish I acted 8lXD
I mean, the last weeks, months, years, I had friends and even got more of them
I never had to feel lonely or such a crazy thing ^^
especially ~Basy-chan, ~jamew85 and ~Pre-maitre-Harley where there for me and spammed me with the funniest and cutest stuff I ever saw and I had a wonderful time even I was so stressed.
Now, it looks like my Grandma will recover 100% and I am so happy about that ^^

and even the spring played some pranks and I was the victim, I feel just great now lol
I mean, I'll go on a short trip with my very best friend forever after school ended
I have to RP lots of times what is just canned fun (lol?)
I have to prepare a cosplay for a summer convention and I know that when I finish it, I'll wear it everytime I can 8llD (what an obsessive otaku we have here...)

you see, my life was kinda... ur, messed up
not in a bad way but it was like a messed room you never clean up where you fell down when you enter because stuff is laying everywhere 8lXDD

I realized how many kinds of "love" exist, and that sometimes, friendship and kind faces are soooo way better than just one person you want to give your heart (especially, if you are not "in love" but just feel like you have to fall in love lol)


...lol, I read the whole text above and I'm still a bit embarrassed 8llD
it doesn't really sounds like me... it's rare (or rather unusual) that I am acting liike that, a bit schmalzy and stuff 8lXDDDDDDDD
so, I apologize to everyone who just thought "oh myyyyy, why is she talking like a softcutepink love story teller?"

but I just had to wrote that down and thank deepfully to all the people who talked to me in the last weeks and months.
that does not just mean the three people I wrote down up there but everyone who was discussing/talking/joking with me the recent weeks
maybe you won't believe me, but in real live, I am actually quite shy and non-interested in people, what isn't a very good way of acting lol
but when I am connected to the world, sitting in a freezing living room because it's getting cold around midnight and babbling with lots and lots of people who maybe just know a nickname of mine makes me happy lol

thats why I want to thank the whole Internet, WWW, Computers, their respectful owners and creators too, because without them, I'd never met that bunch of great people 8lXDD

after my spring-sickery-strange-acting ended, I just had to write this down 8lXDD
so if you're annoyed now or think, that was just gross, then I understand 8llD maybe I would act the same way
but I just know, that when I never wrote this down, then I regretted that one day 8l=3

hm, now I have to end this with a ... cool sentence or something like that
let's list some funfacts

-I am BLEACHED so hard, best series ever, and I am spamming basy with stuff she doesn't know or she isn't interested in, sorry basy, I promise, I'll hold myself back, and you are allowed to show me all gintama or dgm stuff you want to 8lXDD deal?!

-I got pockys, real japanese pockys by maitre
I just love that un-natural strawberry smell lol, it's like an anti-drug 8lXDDDD

-I got people in my ICQ list, I don't remember 8lXDD they never talk to me and I bet they don't know who I am anymore ... whatever 8lXDDD

-and last but not least: after I finally get holidays, I'll draw a bunch of scrappy tradicional art and when I return from holidays, I hope I just can SPAM whole dA with my braintrash 8lXDDDDDDDDDD

so, lol, I'm finally finished
thanks again, to everybody who reads this and to everybody who feels adressed lol
I think an the category "friends" I am one of the luckiest persons 8l= D
and that's why I'll never get EMO, even some ppl say I look like one 8lXDD
YOU HEAR THAT BASY?! EMO? NEVUUUUUUUURRRR
...
BAI BAI 8lXD *is imitating Gin very badly and fells back into her Bleach-obsession*

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Friends, Soulmates(lol) and people I admire:



Clubs: